God Save the Queen: A story about the Edmonton Queen riverboat

A dream inspires Will Reese to save the Edmonton Queen.

I wanted to find an unforgettable opening line - "My name is Ishmael" or a statement like "It is important to know that Marlee is dead." Unfortunately the best that I came up with was,"The night I was knighted." In a memorable dream I was on my knees in a medieval cathedral. A queenly figure touched my right shoulder with her jewelled sword and proclaimed - "Arise, Sir Gregory." I woke up struggling to free myself from the bed covers. As I rubbed sleepers out of my eyes I pulled down my trusty, old, and long ago retired, slide rule. It hung in its place of honour on the wall above my bed. I grasped it as if it were a sword. Much to my awakened surprise I bent down on one knee and executed an elaborate Queen Ann Salute - something which I haven't done, or even seen done in over fifty years.

Now, I've been a successful engineer - albeit retired for several years. Last week I read in the Journal that the Edmonton Queen would have its last voyage of the year on September 15th. The article went on to imply that it might well be its last voyage ever on the North Saskatchewan. That, to me, was a very sad shock. Every couple of weeks I've had the pleasure of joining a friendly crew and happy passengers for a very pleasant voyage n the river. A trip on the Edmonton Queen never fails to impress me with our good fortune in having the lovely river valley n the heart of the city.

As Sir Gregory, my dream character, I had taken a vow to defend and promote the Queen. Thus, to my mind, that included the much troubled river boat as well as our royal Britannic Majesty, Queen Elizabeth.

After a shower and breakfast, I chose to act on my dream vow. The problem with the Edmonton Queen was that its draft was too deep for the water level in parts of the river. I learned that, along with Mother Nature, the water level s regulated by two upstream dams controlled by two power companies. This obstacle is where I decided to initiate my attack on the problem.

I phoned and was able to make contact and arrange for Mayor Smith to come with me to meet with the CPO's of these power companies. To make short what could be a long story, last week we met with the boards of directors of these companies. They agreed to cooperate with the city and we were given a written promise that they would do everything to insure that the water level in a forty foot channel from Fort Edmonton Park to Gold Bar Park would never go below a depth of six feet. If, ah, here is the rub! If and only if the city kept a forty foot sweep channel six feet deep. This of course meant that some dredging would be required. Mayor Smith quickly pointed out that the city could not afford to dredge the river.

It began to appear that the Queen would be forced to abdicate the North Saskatchewan. It was time for Sir Gregory to use his own version of Excalibur. This morning I held a news conference to announce a contest with a $500,000 prize to the engineering school able to design a working model of a special dredge for use on the North Saskatchewan River. (By the way that half a million is the total of my life's savings, but my needs are few and I have no one looking forward to my estate, so I figure that I can finish up with my pension.) I just wish that I had enough life left for me to pursue the quest. But it's not going to be easy. You see, I stipulated that in addition to keeping the channel navigable from Fort Edmonton Park to Gold Bar Park the dredge must be able to help pay for a large portion of it's own operation! How? You may well ask.

In answer it is important to remember that for more than a century the North Saskatchewan River has yielded millions of dollars in gold to those with the determination to find it. The dredge, while discharging its load of obstructive river bottom, must be designed to extract the gold from it. It may not show profit, but I believe that it's worth a shot.

As a Canadian, I know that I can never be knighted. After putting my life savings in escrow to cover the contest award I've become a senior who must rely on a rather meagre pension. Nope, I'll never be Sir Gregory, but as Old Gregory the Engineer I may someday be remembered as the man who helped God save the Queen.